


Context (Can Be Cruel and Kind)

by Ebonyheart



Series: I'm Still Standing, But I Won't Stand Still [2]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky was swaddled in comfort by Steve, Crack and Angst, Crack first, Flashbacks, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I Love Peter, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Panic Attacks, Peter-centric, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam is a Little Shit, Sam is a Saint, Snarky Jarvis, Swaddling needed, Third chapter on is M, This has nothing to do with the story though, Triggers, Why Did I Write This?, first chapter is T, then angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:20:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6988582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebonyheart/pseuds/Ebonyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes pranks go right in the worst ways possible, and catalysts cause destruction. These things are awful but, sometimes, they're a necessary evil. After all, you can't reach a broken pipe without digging it up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alicat54c](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicat54c/gifts).



> Only the first Spiderman movie happens, and THEN the Amazing story arc kicks in. Deadpool's movie happens during Amazing Spiderman 2, and the Avengers have gotten through everything up to CW, which Will. NOT. be in this fic. Everyone is chill: Bucky wandered in like a half-drowned (deadly) kitten, so Tony actually had time and reason to think about whether he was at fault, and T'challa (after catching Zemo) is in Wakanda, making sure it's stable before he goes to the USA again. Exposition will explain anything else relevant to the plot, k?

Ever since fighting Harry, things had been different: Peter had always had bad days, but they were often harder to cope with now. Although he didn’t like to acknowledge it, his break from wall crawling had been a crisis of confidence in more ways than one, because civilians weren't the only ones that he was worried about not saving on time. Spidey sense and healing factor be damned, all it takes is a moment of indecision to get you killed in a fight, and something in the back of his head screamed that he couldn't trust himself not to freeze. It had been a while though since Aunt May had to watch him like a hawk, and he was doing a lot better since joining the team.

The Avengers were cool, all of them collectively crazier than Wade on a manic swing, but still cool. Speaking of mouthy mercenaries, his friend was actually doing better than everyone expected to when it came down to teamwork. Sure, he'd started toning things down after he and Vanessa started trying for kids (the whole "How do I take out the trash without 'permanently' taking it out ?" talk was definitely one of the oddest calls he'd ever gotten at 3am), but no one really thought he'd go this far to be a hero for the little girl that was already set to be spoiled sweet from the moment she gets here. In an odd way, them teaming up to help Wade adjust was what made the others take notice that the two of them could actually handle functioning as part of a team on a regular basis. Peter was caught between wanting to acknowledge that fact more often to increase Wade's abysmal self-confidence and the desire to web his mouth shut when he puts on an extra layer of false bravado because he's still relearning how to accept kindness. That is literally the ONLY reason he's not stuck munching on cobwebs, and, while the quiet would be nice for a while, Peter knows he'd wind up feeling guilty on a Catholic level. Still, as he walked through the tower, heading towards the common floor kitchen, the smell of pancakes made him a bit more grateful for the Canadian man.

"Hey Wade," he yelled, "did you make enough for your favorite spider?"

"Nah, I'm too busy watching Tasha's girlish fig- Meep!" As Peter entered the room, he saw a throwing knife fly through the gap of Wade's fingers and embed itself into the wall.

"Your balls may grow back Wilson, but that just means I can de-man you all over again," Natasha said on her way out, most likely going back to the tv.

"J.K. Rowling, I'm not Sirius Black!" Peter was fairly sure that he could hear Natasha's eyes rolling at the awful pun, which was actually kind of impressive, until his stomach started growling. As Wade turned to look at him like he was the eight-limbed wonder of the world, Peter knew that he needed food, soon, in order to deal with the drama.

"So... pancakes?"

"Hmm..." Wade put a finger on his chin as he thought about it, "White is saying that you'll do the sad puppy eyes if I say no, while Yellow can't decide if we should give you some with laxative chocolate chips.He also wants us to say no, because he's fascinated by the way your stomach sounds like a kitty with a chainsaw." Wade winced. "And now he's really pissed at the author for making me tell you that, because he's not gonna get either."

"Riiiiiight. Can I just have blueberries in mine? I feel like getting some subtle revenge on Tony since he ate my pie the other day, and eating blueberry pancakes in the workshop is as good as it gets." Wade, always eager to help with a prank, began making a small mountain of fluffy goodness while making Jarvis promise to record it. Ultimately, Peter had to split the pile between two plates, and decided that he could just web up a corner of the workshop fairly close to the ceiling and leave one up there for Tony to fetch. He tried not to smile too widely at the thought of pranking Tony AND getting into Pepper and Loki's good books by making sure the resident genius billionaire was fed, with double the points from Loki due to method. 

Once he entered the workshop, Peter observed Tony in his natural habitat and, after confirming that the engineer was in a fugue, set down the plates so that he could get to work. Five minutes later, there was a plate of pancakes nestled snugly in a web hammock, and Peter sat back to munch while he waited to see if Tony could scent out his favorite fruit. It was a short wait.

"Jarvis, am I experiencing a hunger-induced hallucination, or are there really blueberries down here?" Tony said after lifting his welding mask.

"There are no unusual spikes in brain activity Sir," Jarvis replied. "Might I suggest you look towards the ceiling behind you? It seems Mr. Parker has left you a gift of sorts." Tony might've been too distracted to hear it, but Jarvis was definitely amused at messing with his creator. That amusement was probably magnified by the petulant whine Tony let loose at the sight of his precious pancakes being so far out of reach. Peter managed not to laugh at Tony suiting up and trying to get them down without spilling, but Jarvis playing applause as he took the first bite threw that effort out the window.

"Very funny bug boy," Tony said, between bites of blueberry goodness, "but I will have my revenge for letting these get cold!" Peter was still chuckling as he ran out of the lab clutching his phone. He had a video to share with Wade after all.


	2. A Warning

** STOP AND READ FIRST ******

** Remember that bit in the story summary about broken pipes? This might break yours if you are easily triggered or have any triggers related to the following: **

** -Flashbacks  
-Memories of and/or acts of violence  
-Minor self-harm  
-Disassociation  
-Panic attacks **

** This gets kind of messy folks, and I want everyone to be safe. If you couldn't get through that list without feeling on edge, then please don't read this. I'll give a good summary in the end notes, sans triggers, and if enough people are interested, I'll see about a drabble where we get some platonic Science Bros bringing Peter into the fold so that he has some comfort to soothe the hurt. Love you guys, and I will give free hugs to anyone who needs one in the comments. **


	3. Where Tony is an accidental jerk, Peter has an episode (the bad kind), and  Sam is awesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you skipped the last chapter, please go back and read the warning. I seriously don't want anyone getting hurt because of something I wrote.

It had been a rough few days since the last time that Peter had been to the tower. College was kicking his butt, Rhino had gone on a rampage in Queens, and he'd been increasingly on edge as the anniversary of Gwen's death loomed in the near future. He didn’t know how it had snuck up on him, but the day after pranking Tony, he'd looked at the date and felt his heart sink. When the elevator arrived at the correct floor, he walked towards Tony's version of the Danger Room ("It is _not_ the Danger Room, it's a Reality Matrix!" "Oh, so it's the Danger Room with spinning rims!" "... Shut up Wade."), he took stock of how he was handling things.

Things could be better, but they weren't that bad. He knew it was a process though, just like everything else. Some days were bad, some days were a bit better, and sometimes... Sometimes, he forgot how it felt to get lost in the gray. Right now though, he felt so numb that it almost hurt to move, but he was still here because he'd promised Gwen to never miss training. Peter had already had too many failures and close calls under his belt but, as he finally walked into the training room, he swore he'd go through Hell to keep it from happening again. Peter saw Loki and Natasha just before Tony's prank activated.

"The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout!"

And then things were very different.

________

All fires come in triangles

The redhead was oxygen  
The man in green was fuel  
The song was the spark

And Peter's demons pulled him into the flames

________

Peter wasn't ok. He really, really wasn't, because Mary Jane was being held up by the Green Goblin and, oh god, he couldn't move! It was like someone cut his strings so that all he could do was try to hold his chest together when he let her go.

As Peter watched her fall, time was going too fast, too slow, and he wasn't going to catch her, he wasn’t going to catch her, there wasn't any air, and he wasn't going to-

"Peter!"

Catch her because he couldn't move! The Green Goblin was coming right at him, and he couldn't fucking _move_! As he tried to grab him, Peter's body finally unlocked while his spider-sense screamed. With a roar, Peter let instinct take over. He dodged falling gears as the clock tower fell apart, aimed furious blows with precision, and the buzzing in his ears drowned out almost all sound. With anyone else, this degree of tunnel vision would've gotten them killed, but not him, not now. His muscles still twitched from taking down Electro, every movement pulling on electrical burns as well, but he needed to be faster! He needed to keep Goblin from getting away! Peter pushed and pushed, until something finally clicked. He started anticipating things sooner, moving that fraction of a second before his spider-sense had to alert him, while making every defensive movement build up momentum into an all-out assault. He could feel that he'd already pulled something, his healing factor not able to keep up with the wear and tear, but it was worth it when he finally saw an opening.

Peter feinted to the left, allowing him to slam his elbow into Goblin's solar plexus hard enough to dent a car, while webbing his feet to the ground. The sound of at least one ankle breaking was almost enough to make him smile, until the Goblin's glider came rushing towards him. He bridged backwards, only for his spider-sense to go off, too late, as he slammed into a solid wall and what felt like thick titanium bands wrapped around him, cutting off any escape as they lifted him from the ground.

Peter struggled as hard as he could to get free, because Goblin was _right there_! He was so close to taking out the psycho that'd stolen so much from him, and if he could just get one hand free enough to move, he could drag the piece of shit over quickly enough to snap his neck! Peter was so incensed that he would've probably continued to struggle until he passed out, or was rendered unconscious, if a red head didn't break his line of sight and nearly make him stop breathing.

"MJ?" Peter choaked out. It shouldn't be possible, because he just watched her fall. Goblin dropped her, and he didn't catch her in time. She'd hit the bottom of the clock tower, smacked down-

"Peter, I need you to listen!"

And bounced back up. She wouldn't open her eyes-

"Come on Peter, breathe!"

And now she was right in front of him, talking like it was normal, but she died. _He saw her die!_ He'd felt her getting cold in his arms, but she was in front of him, like nothing was wrong, and he didn't understand what was happening.

"Hey Peter, could you open your eyes for me?" They snapped open of their own accord at sound of the out of place voice right next to him and, instead of MJ, there was a man kneeling a few feet in front of him.

"MJ, where's MJ?!"

"I'm Sam, and I need you to take a few deep breaths, alright? You can't ask questions if you can't breathe." Peter tried, the buzzing in his ears started to fade as his heart rate dropped.

"Where's MJ?" he asked again.

"I think you're confused. Natasha just left the room to go calm down Tony. Can you tell me where you are?" Peter was about to spit out that he knew where he was, until he realized that, no, he didn't. "Clock tower?" His breathing started to speed up again, because it didn't make sense, it didn't make-

"Calm down kid, we're in the gym, at _Avenger's_ tower. Try to match my breathing, ok? In... Out... Good job, just focus on that for a second." Peter closed his eyes, consciously this time, in an attempt to get back under control. It took a while, but he was able to finally breathe, even if he did still feel really out of it. "Alright, so you know we're in Avenger's Tower now, which is a safe place, right?" He nodded yes. "Good. Can you open your eyes again and tell me what you see?"

"White walls, projectors, you and- why's Hulk here?" That got him a quick smile, though it settled into more of a wince.

"He's the one who held you still so that Natasha and I could try talking you down. You were fighting Loki, remember?" Sam looked calm, but Peter knew he was waiting for a reaction. His head was too busy going into overdrive though to care about that, because he could swear that he was just fighting Green Goblin, not Loki!

"Which Goblin?"

Was he a telepath or something?!

"No, I'm not a telepath, you're still running high enough on adrenaline that your brain-to-mouth filter isn't really working," Sam stated calmly. "I know there were two Green Goblins, so I'm asking you, which Goblin were you fighting?" Again, Peter went to give an answer, only to find that he didn't have one that made sense.

"Neither? Both?" As he calmed down and started to think, Peter just felt more confused about what happened. "Did someone slip me something?" He was going for anger, but it came out more shaken than anything. Sam's face was a mix of emotions that he couldn't identify before it smoothed out again.

"The thing is, that wasn't a drug. We had Jarvis running a scan while you were fighting, and it came back clean, although there was a lot of brain activity originating in your amygdala. It's part of the emotional brain, and is usually the laziest bit, until it's activated by stress hormones. Do you know what it does next?" Sam asked calmy.

"Then it starts recording, and plays it back when... So that was a flashback?" He almost squeaked.

"A bad one, with multiple memories overlapping, but definitely a flashback." Sam looked at him like he was about to say something Peter really wouldn't like and, unfortunately, he was right. "Have you ever heard of post-traumatic stress disorder? After this, you need to get screened for it."

"I don't have PTSD," Peter snapped back. "I'm _fine_."

"No, you're not." Sam took a deep breath to center himself before continuing. "Having a flashback is not fine, especially not when you close off from most outside stimuli, injure yourself, attack a teammate, have to be restrained, and have a bad panic attack on top of it, all without coming out of the initial flashback."

"But I didn't hurt myself!" Peter knew he was desperate to deny at least part of the problem.

"Peter, look at your arms. Those bruises are too small to have come from Hulk, and Loki couldn't even land a solid hit, nevermind actually grab you. It actually took almost all of his focus to keep from getting webbed into a cocoon." When he looked down, Peter saw finger-shaped marks on the biceps of both arms that already starting to turn purple. It seemed like noticing one injury was slowly bringing him back to his body, because he was a lot less numb now, and the muscles that he'd pulled were already starting to lock as they healed. He groaned and buried his head in his hands at the thought of having to stretch out later, which seemed to cue a small series of earthquakes.

"Hulk not hurt baby spider?" Peter looked back up into green eyes that were studying him intently, not even bothering to argue about his nickname. "Nah big guy, this was all me and- ohmygodIbrokeLoki'sankles!" Peter tried to jump to his feet, only to give a yelp as his head cracked into Hulk's. When he could open his eyes again, he saw that there was no way he was going anywhere, because Hulk was channeling Cap at his most stubborn ("Ow! Steve, you mother hen-" "Just stay still Bucky!").

"Baby spider not worry over puny god, metal man make him better. Baby spider hurt too! Take care of self, or Hulk baby- _sit_ until better." Peter didn't know whether he should be happy, because Hulk wanted to look after him, or scared, because Hulk might literally sit on his 'baby spider' if he didn't take care of himself. It would actually be sweet if it wasn't so terrifying.

"Mr. Parker, Hulk is correct in assuming that Sir is looking after Mr. Laufeyson in the penthouse. I believe the appropriate term is 'Mother henning'?" Jarvis paused for a moment. "Sir has asked me to retract that statement because he is 'not smothering anyone, just making sure that Loki doesn't do something stupid, like not teleport out of danger'. Mr. Laufeyson would like me to add that he could have teleported away at any time, that it was his choice to stay, and that his magic will have him fully recovered by sunrise tomorrow. He would also like to compliment your fighting prowess because, and I quote, 'no opponent, other than Thor, the warriors three, Lady Sif and Odin himself, has been so difficult to face in hand-to-hand combat since [his] fifth century'."

"Wow, that's... wow." Peter knew he probably looked like an idiot, but getting a compliment like that from the god of chaos was enough to make anyone surprised. Especially when the compliment was for basically kicking his butt.

"On that note, it's time to get up! My knee hurts, and you look like you're about to fall asleep on the floor." Sam stood and helped Peter to his feet, holding him steady for a second to make sure he wouldn't fall. If he wasn't so tired, Peter would’ve probably panicked a bit at not remembering when exactly he wound up on his knees, but walking towards the elevator with Hulk in tow had him just focusing on not swaying. He didn’t even protest when his gamma buddy climbed aboard, silently refusing to let his 'baby spider' out of his sight until he was safely asleep.

"Look Peter," Sam said, "I want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk. I don't get to do it as often anymore, but I still make time to go to the local VA and help others manage their PTSD, so I have a lot of practice at being a good listener," Sam offered as they exited the elevator. "I can't be your counselor, because that wouldn't be fair to either of us, but I _can_ be a friend."

"Thanks Sam," there was a grumble, "and you too Hulk. I really appreciate the help, and I'll take you up on the offer soon. Say thanks to Nat for me?" At Sam's nod, Peter climbed into one of the beds and closed his eyes. His last thought was that, even if he was stuck eating a shit sandwich, at least he got another friend out of it. It put a smile on his face as he fell blissfully unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Peter is on his way to team training after classes, and some of the others had already started because they got there early. As he enters the gym, Tony's prank kicks in, and Itsy Bitsy Spider starts playing to alert the team that he's arrived. Due to setting and circumstances, Peter is caught in a fight, where he injures Loki, which results in Hulk, Natasha and Sam helping him think straight. He then gets walked to med-bay, where there is a brief mention of counseling and friendship before Peter passes out from the adrenaline crash.
> 
> Here is my main link for [helping someone else with PTSD](http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/ptsd-in-the-family.htm). Please contact a medical professional if you suspect you, or someone else, may be suffering from this condition.
> 
> Actual notes  
> Me: I can't believe I just wrote that.  
> Wade: I can, and I totally want to kill you for it! You made my bestie cry and get hurt!  
> Me: Nope, no killing the author, that's the reader's job, and I will take my lumps if this comes across as fake or offensive to anyone. I don't suffer from this condition but, as someone who deals with Asperger's syndrome and Bipolar II, I'm trying to treat this with the utmost respect.  
> Wade: *glares* Fine, but you're not off the hook. *sets free rabid plot bunnies*  
> Me: OMG, why did you do that?!  
> Wade:You _knew_ that I wouldn't let this thing die an easy death, and now it's set to go from a one shot to a goddamn saga!  
>  Me: Thanks genius, but you're not even the main character in this fic.  
> Deadpool: I'm not a genius, I'm a fanfic genie! When you wish for me, even as a supporting character, I pull your plot like taffy until it's more stretched out than someone with a food baby!  
> Me: That's disturbingly accurate...  
> Deadpool: Ikr? And I'm doing it for parts that I'm not even that _involved_. Just think how much worse it'll be when you finally write a Spideypool fic!  
>  Me: *repeatedly slams head into wall while crying* I'm never going to have a life.


End file.
